Customs
The first Qingming after a death: when do you visit a new grave, and what is the “she day”?
Someone in the family died this year. Qingming is still months away, and an older relative has already said the grave must be visited “before the 社”. You may have no idea which day that is.
Compiled by Shen Po Son · Who we are
Some families follow a saying that a new grave (新山, literally “new hill”) should be visited before the spring she day (春社), a day for the local earth god. The usual reckoning puts it on the fifth wu day after the Start of Spring, which the Chinese Wikipedia entry 〈春社〉 places at roughly 16 to 27 March: before Qingming.
In 2027 the Start of Spring is 4 February and Qingming is 5 April (Hong Kong time; Hong Kong Observatory conversion table). Counting the five wu days after the Start of Spring in the Observatory’s February and March calendars gives Saturday 20 March. The calculation is shown below. First check which reckoning your family follows.
Why is this so confusing the first time?
Grave-visiting customs are usually something an older relative leads and you follow. This year may be different: the person who used to lead may be the one you have lost.
If the only 社 you know is the one in “social worker”, that is not surprising. Finding the day means counting through the traditional sixty-day cycle, and even we have to sit with a calendar to do it.
And if you live abroad, there are flights, leave and time zones on top. You are not falling short. You are doing this for the first time, from the other side of an ocean.
So this page does not tell you what you must do. It sets out the versions we could trace to a source, so that you have something solid to talk through with your family.
How long is a grave “new”?
新山 means a new grave. Accounts distinguish the first visit from arrangements in the first few years. These examples describe local customs, not a universal definition of how long a grave remains new:
- The first visit and later years differ. Chinese Wikipedia’s grave-sweeping entry describes a Quanzhou custom: the first visit precedes lunar month two, day two; visits in years two and three are arranged between the she day and Qingming eve. This is an encyclopedia account of a local custom, not a rule for every Hong Kong family.
- Special arrangements in the first three years. A 2012 Hangzhou newspaper interview describes visits on Qingming itself for the first three years, with more flexibility later. That account describes the interviewee’s local practice; it does not establish a Hong Kong definition of a new grave.
Encyclopedia summaries and newspaper interviews are examples to discuss with your family, not instructions that every family must follow.
One thing we could not find: some people today are placed in a columbarium niche rather than buried. We found no sourced account of whether the saying applies to a niche.
The most reliable answer is whatever the eldest person in your family says. Their version is your family’s version.
When is the she day in 2027?
The she day (春社, “spring she”) is a day for honouring the earth god (Wikipedia, 〈社日〉). The Chinese Wikipedia entry 〈春社〉 notes that some walled villages in Hong Kong make offerings to their village earth god on it.
There are two ways of reckoning it. The first is the fifth wu day after the Start of Spring (Wikipedia, 〈社日〉 and 〈春社〉). Traditional Chinese calendars label every day with one of ten “heavenly stems”; wu (戊) is one of them, so a wu day comes round every ten days.
The second follows the lunar calendar. The 〈春社〉 entry records folk versions placing it on the 2nd, 8th, 12th or 15th day of the second lunar month. The Quanzhou custom above uses the 2nd.
In other words, even the she day itself is not the same everywhere. Here is where each version falls in 2027:
| Reckoning or solar term | 2027 (Hong Kong time) | Lunar date |
|---|---|---|
| Start of Spring (立春) | Thu 4 February | 12th month, day 28 |
| 2nd month, day 2 | Tue 9 March | 2nd month, day 2 |
| 2nd month, day 8 | Mon 15 March | 2nd month, day 8 |
| 2nd month, day 12 | Fri 19 March | 2nd month, day 12 |
| Fifth wu day after the Start of Spring | Sat 20 March, counted from HKO calendars; your family’s printed almanac has the final say | 2nd month, day 13 |
| Spring equinox (solar term) | Sun 21 March | 2nd month, day 14 |
| 2nd month, day 15 | Mon 22 March | 2nd month, day 15 |
| Qingming (solar term) | Mon 5 April, a Hong Kong public holiday | 2nd month, day 29 |
Dates and solar terms: HKO 2027 conversion table. Daily stems: HKO February calendar and HKO March calendar. The fifth-wu result is our count from those calendars, not an Observatory recommendation for a ritual date. Dates use Hong Kong time (HKT, UTC+8).
Where does the wu date come from? The HKO February calendar gives 4 February as the Start of Spring, a 甲寅 day. It labels 8, 18 and 28 February as 戊午、戊辰、戊寅. The March calendar labels 10 and 20 March as 戊子、戊戌.
The five wu dates after the Start of Spring are therefore 8, 18 and 28 February, 10 March and 20 March. Under this particular reckoning, the fifth is 20 March. This calculation does not replace a family’s lunar-date custom.
A printed Chinese almanac (通勝, tung sing) lists the stem of every day, and the one your family uses has the final say. Or ask an elder: they may already have heard when this year’s she day falls.
Where is it recorded?
Linking a new grave to the she day turns up in more than one place:
- Hakka: 新地不過社,舊地掛到年底下, roughly “a new grave does not pass the she day; an old grave can wait until the year’s end” (Wikipedia, 〈掃墓〉, our translation).
- Quanzhou: the first visit before the 2nd day of the second lunar month; the second and third years between the she day and the day before Qingming (same entry).
- Hong Kong: funeral-service websites and newspaper columns use the phrase 新山不過社, “a new grave does not pass the she day”.
- Old local gazetteers: the 〈春社〉 entry cites the Huojia gazetteer (《獲嘉縣志》): on the she day, earth was heaped on the newly buried; and the Chongyang gazetteer (《崇陽縣志》): graves of the newly buried were swept on that day, and a folk saying ran 「新墳不過社」, “a new grave does not pass the she day” (our translations).
As for why it is the she day, we found several explanations online and in columns, but none with a reliable source that explains it clearly. So we will not pretend to know.
Each of these records describes one place or one community. If your family never mentioned any of this, it does not mean something was missed. Families simply do things differently.
What if you cannot fly back for the first year?
Perhaps the hardest version is this: an elder says the grave must be visited before the she day, and you simply cannot get a flight.
The options are much the same as any year you cannot go back: ask relatives in Hong Kong to go on your behalf, keep a household rite where you live with a photograph, or have a packet burned for you. The Chinese Wikipedia entry 〈祖先崇拜〉 lists the household rite (家祭) alongside the grave rite and the clan-hall rite, so an offering at home is a proper form in its own right. Here is a simple version you can do at home.
One thing to be clear about: the new-grave saying is about visiting the grave. Burning a packet is not a grave visit, and we do not go to graves on anyone’s behalf. So we will not tell you that a packet “counts as” visiting the new grave. It is a separate gesture, not a substitute.
The owner’s own view, though, is that while we cannot go up to the grave for you, burning a packet is still a way of honouring your ancestors. Not reaching the grave does not mean your ancestors went unhonoured this year.
And one thing that is in no rulebook: the first Qingming is the first time this day comes round without them. If this year feels especially hard, or you manage less than usual, that is not you doing it badly.
On timing, this is what we can say: on ordinary days a packet is usually burned within three days once your payment is confirmed (festivals excepted). Each day, sometime between 3 and 6 pm Hong Kong time (HKT, UTC+8), that day’s packets are taken to be burned together, as one batch. Two photographs go up on your tracking page within three working days of the burning.
In the shop’s experience, orders pick up from about two weeks before Qingming. In the owner’s own words, people order ahead for festivals (translated from Cantonese). If you want it burned before your family’s she day, arranging it a few days early is simpler.
Going by the range in the Wikipedia entry 〈春社〉, the she day falls roughly one to three weeks before Qingming, so it overlaps a little with that busy period.
How long a grave counts as new, which day is the she day, whether to follow the saying at all: every place and every family says something different, and no version is the “official” one. In the first year, do what you can. That is enough.
Sources and scope
Checked 13 October 2026. Official calendars provide dates; accounts of local customs describe particular places, not a rule for every family. Shop arrangements are stated separately.
If this would help
If you cannot be there and would still like something sent in the first year, that is where we can help. An offering you keep at home yourself is a traditional form too.
See the ancestor packet