I do not know my ancestors’ Chinese names. Can I still do this?

Two answers, not one

Yes — and there are two different ways, depending on which problem you actually have.

• You know a name, but not in Chinese characters. Write the name you have. English or romanised is acceptable.
• You do not know the names at all. Use the standard collective form, which exists precisely for this.

Most articles only give you the second one, which quietly tells you to stop trying to name the person. If your grandfather was Grandpa Chan to you your whole life, or the only spelling you have ever seen is on a passport, the first answer is the one you actually want.

You can use the name you do have

We asked the shop directly. The answer:

其實先人睇得明就可以,中文英文或者拼音都得,但當然中文就最常見最好啦

As long as the deceased can make it out, it is fine — Chinese, English or romanisation all work. Chinese is of course the most common, and the best.

Both halves of that matter. Chinese is the most common form and the safest choice — if you can get the characters, get them. But if you cannot, an English or romanised name is not a failed attempt at the real thing. It is written, it is read, it arrives.

Which follows from how the practice works at all. It is addressed like a parcel, and an address only has to be legible to whoever is receiving it.

So the order to try is: characters if you have them, romanisation or English if you do not, the collective form if you have no name at all.

The three lines on a packet

An offering packet carries three lines, and they work exactly like a parcel label.

This page takes them only as far as the name problem needs. The line-by-line version — both accepted forms of the sender line, and why the date is the day it is burned rather than anyone’s birthday — is what you write on a joss paper packet.

• Recipient — the relationship term, plus the name, plus the family hall.
• Sender — who it is from, expressed as their standing among the living.
• Date — in the lunar calendar.

One term worth explaining because nobody explains it: 陽居 means dwelling in the yang world — that is, alive. Anyone meeting it for the first time will not know that, so we are not going to assume you do.

The line that solves it

The collective form is ［surname］門堂上歷代祖先 — the generations of ancestors of such-and-such a family, in the hall.

You need only the surname. No given names, no dates, no order of seniority.

This form exists precisely so that you do not have to name everyone individually. It is used routinely by families in Hong Kong who could name them if they wanted to. Using it says nothing about you.

One caveat worth knowing: the written guides we could find treat a packet as addressed to one person. The collective form is the exception, since it is already a collective address. So if you want to name your grandfather specifically and also cover the rest of the line, that is generally two packets rather than one.

About the sender line

There is a genuine disagreement here and we are not going to pretend otherwise.

Some sources say the sender line should not carry a living person’s name, only the relationship — sent by the living children. Other sources say the living person registering the offering should be named, or described as the sons, or the descendants.

Both are in real use. We are not going to tell you one is wrong. When you order, you can choose: your name on it, or the relationship only.

If you have a preference for keeping your own name off a document, the relationship-only form is a real, traditional option — not a compromise.

Where you might still find the name

If you would rather try, a few places tend to have it. None of these require asking a relative you would find it awkward to ask.

• The grave or columbarium niche — the characters are usually carved there. A cousin who lives nearby can photograph it.
• Old identity documents — Hong Kong identity cards, old passports, immigration paperwork often carry both the romanisation and the characters.
• The back of photographs — an older generation habitually wrote names and dates there.
• Funeral paperwork — an order of service, a memorial card, a receipt from the funeral home.
• A red packet or a letter in their handwriting.

And if none of that turns anything up: use the collective form. It is a complete answer, not a partial one.

What to do about the date

One more thing that catches people abroad, more often than the names do. The date is written in the lunar calendar, not the Western one.

This is easy to get wrong when your whole life runs on a Gregorian calendar and you have never had reason to look up a lunar date. It is also easy for someone else to handle for you — it is a lookup, not a judgement call.

Which is the general shape of this whole page, really. Not knowing how to write 先妣 is not a reason to skip doing something you want to do. It is a formatting problem, and formatting problems have solutions.